I Am Sorry...

to be the prophet of Doom, but Transformers was an awful movie. And what makes matters significantly worse is that the cartoon that proceeded the film was hardly Akira, yet it somehow managed to have more depth that the multi-million dollar film version. And understand, this is coming from a guy that will see a movie just because there’s a spaceship, or an alien (as long as it is not played by Keanu Reeves, that is), or a monster of some sort, in it. Yet Transformers, chock full of brilliant CGI with two groups of robots; one interested in destroying the human race, the other trying to save it, was akin to what I imagine a root canal to be like.

Namely remarkable, seemingly unending pain.

This movie was one of the worse I had seen in quite awhile. I generally don’t leave a movie, be it on television or in the theater, but I was sorely tempted. Instead I just commented–a lot–on how unbearably silly this movie was.

Nothing seemed to make sense and characters seemed to do really dumb things as a matter of course.

And there was Optimus Prime and his moving mouth, which is a blog post all it’s own.

Now keep in mind, this is a movie about sentient robots from a world called Cybertron. I easily suspended my disbelief in reference to that, yet I can be pushed only so far.

Why am I writing this? Because I met an acquaintance at the gym earlier today, and he seems extremely psyched that Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen, is coming out soon.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I haven’t forgiven Michael Bay for bringing us the first one, never mind the sequel. I mean, it boggles my mind that this film wasn’t brilliant. I mean, there were tons of robots. Skating robots, robots that turn into cars, fighter planes, scorpions, and so on.

How do you mess that up? I mean, you just let Industrial Light & Magic do their thing, sit back, and just rake in the dough.